In real life, the law rarely forgives any wrong act. In most countries, the rule is clear about punishment. We still hear a lot about forgiving in personal relationships. We are told to let go of the major blunders. And to forgive and forget and continue living as if nothing happened. Does that work? To some extent, yes, and to some degree, no.
Most of us who have experienced getting hurt in a relationship do not wish to forgive at all. The result is that we suffer from pain all our life. People would often advise us to forgive so that at least we can feel peaceful. If we do not forgive, our peace is lost forever, and we suffer. Forgiveness is for us. To forgive does not always mean that the abuser can continue with the same behavior. You need not tell the abuser that you have forgiven him/her. Let them suffer for what they did. But by forgiving in your mind, you get peace.
Relationship after forgiving – the relationship can never continue at the same level and intensity after the conflict. No amount of forgiveness can ever bring the relation back.
Bringing relationship back – I have said earlier that no relationship will return to the same old level after everything, and this is true. But what if the partners want to bring it back to the way it was before? How should they proceed? In this case, the abuser should ask for forgiveness again and again. Only after the victim is satisfied, the forgiveness can become effective to the extent that the relationship comes back to normal.
